The Invisible Wall of Harm

I am just a creature

Who can’t keep his head off the pillow

Finding comfort

From the sweat and tears of long nights

Holding on to memories

Of which were long ago

Where fear always grows

But when covered in a warm white snow

Makes no misery

Makes no fear

Makes no sense

To those who never found harm

From walking out your front door

From going to town

From talking to another one

The harm that does not exist

But feels so real

That this snow and ice

Is protection

Until it melts

And I am ready to show the world

I am a creature

I am not a man

And I hide amongst the human race

Bullied Soul

Poor and innocent teenage soul on the verge of suicide due to lack of acceptance. It’s a simple game – if you don’t fit in you loose. Brought up Christian, escaped neutral believer and remained scarred for life. Your brain is complex, if you are blessed with exceptional perception of the world then you are gifted and cursed at the same time. Why? Because you are considered to be a Highly Sensitive Person who is not understood or recognised by common society. You are spat at with labels: “Shy”, “Queit”, “Introvert” and all you want to scream is- ” Mind your fucking business, you self labelled all mighty extrovert.” You want to breath and be yourself but you find it very hard in this shallow and constantly preying for your mistakes world. You escape to God in fear or in a clearer state of mind to Inner- Self trying to pick up the remnants of what’s left from your shattered soul. You feel so insignificant, unimportant and scared- like an asylum seeker from a 3rd world country. Your scarred, wounded, and decying soul begs for mercy. Your Inner-Self keeps you intact reminding you that the Universe holds your back. You keep going. You are resurrected over and over again. You find a shelter away from the society among those who care.

Abuse and bulliying scars for life. It’s incurable. Victims learn to live with mental scars but scars never dissapear. They only fade.

Make sure to take action if you suspect anyone who is a victim of abuse or bullying.

Prevent the loss of life or mental damage before it’s too late.

Don’t be an ignorant TWAT.

Anxious Existence After the Incident

When you live with anxiety for many years you get use to it. It becomes your partner for life. It’s not the most pleasant acquaintance of all times. I would say you treat it as a very annoying colleague from work who happens to sit next to you. You can’t get rid of them (obviously) or completely separate yourself from their presence. You just work out your own clever ways to exist alongside them leading fairly good & satisfying life ( if you’ve already learnt to appreciate it). At times, you don’t even notice them anymore. You treat them as something completely acceptable and relatively easy to deal with. Until…. until something unexpectedly unpleasant happens. You come up against the problem like a champion leaving others amazed of how well you handled the issue. You are proud of yourself but deep down you know that you are about to be kicked hard in the softest spot of your spine. Twelve hours go by and you start feeling effects of your bravery appearing out of nowhere. You would like to ask-

Why, oh why am I feeling so restless and tired?

Why is my heart beating so fast?

Why does my chest feel so tight?

Why am I anticipating the worst?

What AM I AFRAID OF?

It’s JUST anxiety- your beloved and annoying colleague from the next desk who has just decided to annoy you by their foolish behaviour AGAIN.

If you are a bigger person in this situation you will take it easy. You will take care of yourself by :

– resting

– doing something you love

– sleeping/ napping

– actively meditating

http://meditationtechniques.co/meditative-techniques-thich-nhat-hanh/

– solely focusing on yourself

– cuddling with someone you love and trust

– talking to someone about your feelings

If you naively wants to fight with anxiety by battling your mind then you are on the best way to succumb to its mentally painful trap.

Choice is yours but remember it’s better to make peace with anxiety and learn to manage its symptoms rather than waist your precious existence in the name of pointless suffering.

We are here to LISTEN.

anya786