The Modern World

Simple and non materialistic things are what matters the most in this life. They enrich your life in many wonderful ways. They say- ‘Love and live because you are truly blessed’ BUT when you lack financial means all of the sudden you and your family’s mental and physical wellbeing is at risk.

There are so many loving and good hearted families with no money. Love for eachother is the only thing which keeps them from giving up. Parents put on a brave face often skipping a meal in order to feed their children. They work hard, they are honest, worried and anxious about tommorow yet they manage to smile for the sake of their children.

They say-‘Live in the present moment.’ Well, that’s a great approach but when you have children you must plan ahead otherwise your children may suffer and you don’t want that to happen. I wish life was easier. It’s sad and you can only understand it when you are a parent yourself.

Why oh why the modern world is so unfair?

Worrying

If you suffer from anxiety I bet that you worry a lot. Worrying acts like a cushion protecting you from falling down into the abyss of anxiety. You are convinced that you need it because you would be lost without it. You keep telling yourself and others who have noticed your worrying pattern that it’s always good to have ‘a plan b’. Deep inside you are tired but you are ploughing through to keep yourself and your loved ones ‘safe’. Are they really safe? How can you protect them? You can protect them by being a good and sensible human being. Your plan won’t save them, your plan gives you a false impression that you would protect them. In reality, you waste your time, the time you could spend with your loved ones instead of planning.

If you ever worry and start making a plan based on anxious thoughts and the worst possible outcome, get up and occupy your mind with something physically and mentally demanding, such as listening to music, running errands or simply talking to another human being. It such a simple and obvious solution but easily forgotten.

The Avalanche of Chores

Dear Mummas,

It’s widely known that the avalanche of chores, demanding pets and a baby may cause your anxiety to thrive and flourish. We obviously don’t want that to happen!

The anxiety has been with me since childhood, I have used multiple techniques to cope with it but having an infant and two pets in the household definately makes managing anxiety more challenging.

What I’ve been doing is keeping everything under control by controlling my breathing and fleeing the chaos😎

Unsettled baby, the house being up side down, a cat running around like a headless chicken, anxiety, hopelessness and frustration rising quicky? Sounds familiar? If yes then…

STOP FOR A MOMENT

TAKE A DEEP BREATH

INHALE, EXHALE while drawing a cirle and a square with your pointing finger up in the air five times with your eyes closed (it’s a distraction method).

NOW GET UP, GET YOURSELF AND YOUR BABY DRESSED.

LEAVE THE HOUSE AND GO FOR A WALK.

THE CHORES CAN WAIT AND YOUR MENTAL HEALTH IS MORE IMPORTANT than washed dishes.

Mummy’s Life

You’ve always worried but when you become a parent you enter the BUSH of different type of worry- it’s constant, it’s there and it won’t leave your side.

You juggle and tackle so many bits and pieces of your newly established existence as a parent. In the end of the day, when everyone is fed, happy and entertained you feel like you’ve just climbed the the top of the Mount Everest but then you think about yourself as a person and you realise you need to do something for yourself otherwise your baby brain will continue to deteriorate. You decide to exercise. After a full day of making sure your baby is well and sound, making the new house with your partner aka Papa John John a livable space and preventing your two mentally distorted cats from killing eachother you go to excercise. Your stamina has long gone and you are left with movements and strength of a 100 years old cool gal who is mobile for her age but lacks in coordination and balance skills. Once you’ve completed the set of torment you feel EPIC. You are a physical train wreck but mentally you are rejuvenated. You embrace the flow of happy chemicals in your brain and go to the kitchen to make yet another cup of coffee. Life is wonderful and you love the chaos.

Enlightenment

My little beautiful terror is asleep, I should get up and go to do chores but as a sleep deprived mother I have every right to sit down with a GIANT mug of coffee and contemplate.

I want to share with you what I have discovered right now, my brain doesn’t stop overthinking, I always find myself feeling this heavy weight of future prediction. I’m full of ‘what ifs’ and it makes me tired. I’m fed up of trying to be prepared for the worst outcome in every single situation. I just want to relax and go with the flow. I’ve been sitting with a cup of coffee and I have stopped thinking and putting pressure on myself for few minutes and it’s felt good.

My tips of how to do it… I don’t have any yet except this one: stop everything and slow down in order to put yourself together.

I want to master living without that weight made of life predictions and worries and I’m going to update you guys with what I’ve learnt during my journey.

My Hero

All I want to do

Is make you proud

Shout it aloud

You’re my hero

Without you I feel like a zero

So please

Do not leave

Do not go

I am stuck in this world

With only your steps to follow

Al I want to do

Is Make you Proud

You’re my hero

Without you I feel like no one

Alone

Travelling From Manic

To Numb

So Please

Don’t Leave

Don’t Go

All I want to do

All I want

All I want

Is To Make you proud

The Truth About Postpartum Period

You’ve just had your baby. You’ve been expected to return to your former glory within few weeks after giving birth but it hasn’t happened yet…. hmmmm.

While being pregnant, you imagined yourself strolling with a pram, full of energy and optimism through the town few days after birthing your baby. Currently, you are willing to invest in the IV coffee drip constantly fighting exhaustion and tiredness. You’ve got mum’s body, no energy and you know what else we could add to your newly emerging list?

POSTPARTUM RECOVERY

I’m sorry but NO ONE told you that it would be difficult. In your head, you were meant to bounce back after pregnancy survival mode and a childbirth camp like a bunny sprinkled with the morning dew drops. That did not happen. Instead:

– you bled like a slaughtered lamb

– you ached and you were bruised all over like you’ve just been in the car crash

– you wished you could pull out your insides while pooing

-you wondered about your vagina being badly grazed and swollen for days

– you fought dizzy spells and fatigue caused by hormonal havoc

– you burst into tears (you were hormonally overwhelmed ) because you convinced yourself that your cat was going blind- she fell down from the water butt while trying to climb up the window.

The physical aspects of postpartum recovery are hard enough to soften the strongest human being but the mental side caused by the immense hormonal imbalance after childbirth is equally hard. You are a new mum, you are trying to physically recover while trying to look after the newborn and you mentally struggle. You are emotionally overwhelmed and filled with joy because you love your child so much but you feel constantly worried. You are worried because you are not sure if you are looking after your baby well enough and because you are simply trying to adjust to having a new responsibility 24/7. You are also concerned about your physical well being- feeling rotten and unwell doesn’t help you in any way BUT IT’S GOING TO GET BETTER.

I’ve been through it, nobody has told me about hardships of postpartum recovery. I expected everything to go back to normal almost instantly after going through the labour of my daughter but it obviously didn’t happen. It’s been a slow and bumpy process of adjusting and accepting a new situation in my life. I love my small family consisting of my partner, our daughter and two crazy cats.

My advice to you would be to take each day as it goes, ask for help and talk about your feelings out loud. Don’t beat yourself up if you feel and look like a train wreck but make an effort to take few mints to do something just for yourself- nails, hair, long shower or a bath or simply have a nap or a cheeky drink while listening to a favourite album.

You are doing great mumma x

Happiness

We were both tired after a long day and a sleepless night with our daughter. My partner went upstairs with Miss Little Munchkin aka Jumping Bean first, I followed after. When I got upstairs I saw them both sleeping soundly. I stopped for a moment and let my heart fill with joy and happiness of seeing two people whom I love with my whole heart relaxing and resting.

What does make you happy?

I often find out that people feel happy when they surround themselves with materialistic items or money. They forget the importance of emotions and feelings which doesn’t cost a dime.

Stop for a moment, forget about the money and materialistic items and ask yourself what’s really important in your life.

Initial Thoughts

It’s been almost two weeks since our baby girl was born.

It’s been a challenge to gather thoughts and categorise them.

It’s been a turbulent ride of feelings and emotions.

It’s also been a wonderful time of a unique life transformation.

It’s been, it’s been… a journey of a lifetime.

Second of all, I want to say that nobody talks about postpartum mental and physical recovery of both parents. When you are pregnant you are bombarded with information about antenatal care, you are given basic info about postantal care but nobody really goes into details. Postanatal recovery is an individual process of bonding, healing ( mentally & physically) and accepting the new reality for both parents. After few first days with my newborn the reality of having a third person in the household ( apart from our demanding feline kids) has struck me hard. I’ve realised that this little person is with us and we are responsible for her. I quitely said goodbye to undisturbed days & nights. I was instantly flooded by waves of anxiety. I questioned myself how I was going to adjust to motherhood without treating my daughter like a third wheel. I simply let those intrusive thoughts go, I took small steps trying to be present in the current moment. After almost two weeks of being a parent I have accepted my daughter as a new member of our little family. I love her so much and I admire her every single time I hold her.

My partner has been amazing, he is a pro when it comes looking after our daughter. I know that he is going to have a unique bond with her and that’s what I’ve always wanted. He suffers with chronic migraines. He pulls through them like a warrior to be present for both of us. He looks after our child and offers me his support during my hormonal breakdowns ( they’ve gotten better, my hormones have started to settle- finally).

I still tear up ( I don’t think I will ever stop) when I think about first moments when I saw and held our little jumping bean. I also reminisce about my partner’s first moments with our daughter- seeing them both together having a skin to skin contact, him smiling & being the proudest father in the whole wide world and her just cuddling up to him and looking into his eyes filled me with pure joy and contentment. She is our miracle whom we love and adore. We intend to raise her as a descent human being.

This post is really made of many scattered thoughts which are still being categorised and grouped in to a descent order. I just wanted to share my initial thoughts with you of this amazing rollercoaster parenthood ride.