If you look at the picture above you can see a creature murdering the poor anxiety stricken head. This is ANXIETY. Anxiety strikes unexpectedly, everything can be going well and all of the sudden you become paralysed with the brutal and panicky reality of inner fear.

I want to help you to realise that you are not alone and there are few simple ways to cope with the attack.

I have listed 5 SELF- HELP rules which will help you to survive the episode of anxiety.

1. Breath- inhale and exhale – at least five times. You will instantly become overwhelmed with a sense of relief and temporary enlightenment ( Yes, I’m actually going to live) due to your brain receiving enough oxygen.

2. Take it slow. It’s easy to say… and guess what… It’s easy to do too!!! Focus on the basics, go through your daily planner and limit it to bear minimum.

3. Self-care. Limiting your plan for the day will not only take some of the stress off your shoulders but it will also allow you to REST.

  • 4. Rest. Your mind is exausted and it drags your body along putting it in a state of emergency. Sit down, lie down and breath !!! You and only you matter in this moment. If you are in the public and you can’t go home, please, follow these few little tips :
  • look around and acknowledge the present moment and the surrounding environment while breathing
  • feel your feet touching the ground (press them down on to the floor to feel your body being grounded- it will give you a sense of security)
  • tell yourself that everything is going to be fine and that the feeling of fear will pass

5. Focus. When you feel better do something which relaxes you. It can be anything from listening to music or making a peanut butter sandwich !

Remember that you are a wonderful and unique person !!!

Bullied Soul

Poor and innocent teenage soul on the verge of suicide due to lack of acceptance. It’s a simple game – if you don’t fit in you loose. Brought up Christian, escaped neutral believer and remained scarred for life. Your brain is complex, if you are blessed with exceptional perception of the world then you are gifted and cursed at the same time. Why? Because you are considered to be a Highly Sensitive Person who is not understood or recognised by common society. You are spat at with labels: “Shy”, “Queit”, “Introvert” and all you want to scream is- ” Mind your fucking business, you self labelled all mighty extrovert.” You want to breath and be yourself but you find it very hard in this shallow and constantly preying for your mistakes world. You escape to God in fear or in a clearer state of mind to Inner- Self trying to pick up the remnants of what’s left from your shattered soul. You feel so insignificant, unimportant and scared- like an asylum seeker from a 3rd world country. Your scarred, wounded, and decying soul begs for mercy. Your Inner-Self keeps you intact reminding you that the Universe holds your back. You keep going. You are resurrected over and over again. You find a shelter away from the society among those who care.

Abuse and bulliying scars for life. It’s incurable. Victims learn to live with mental scars but scars never dissapear. They only fade.

Make sure to take action if you suspect anyone who is a victim of abuse or bullying.

Prevent the loss of life or mental damage before it’s too late.

Don’t be an ignorant TWAT.

Demanding Innocence?

Violence and intrusion

A Moment of Confusion

This is the moment i feared

My Cry, you cannot hear


A hold you had on me

A firm and fearful grasp

You coward behind me

Beneath your dark, black mask


The others you saw

They wanted to run

My heart pumping away

I felt weak, like a dying sun


We still could not move it

We had to go back again

Your black shroud, controlling

Hurting, fellow men


Possessed by urge

You reached your point

Again you wanted me

Again you urged me

Again you killed me


The door was open

You grabbed the prize

I lie there, such horror have I seen

I wait there, for my cries to be heard

I stay there for days, haunted by you


I want to leave…..



Running through my veins

Carried all around my body


Poisoning my thought

Dismantling my mind


Shallow of mind

Sleeping just to reach tomorrow

Carrying you with me



Running through my veins  

Carried through body and mind  


Where I revered

Was disillusion

You’re a disease

An infection


Running through my veins

Carried through body and mind  


I carry you with me

Looking for a cure

Looking for life

A life I had before


I have no cure.

I have nothing left.

You gave me everything babe

And I’m infected.


The Invisible Wall of Harm

I’m just a creature

Who can’t keep his head off the pillow

Finding comfort

From the sweat and tears of long nights

Holding on to memories

Of which were long ago

Where fear always grows

But when covered in a warm white snow

Makes no misery

Makes no fear

Makes no sense

To those who never found harm

From walking out your front door

From going to town

From talking to another body

The harm that doesn’t exist

But feels so real

That this snow and ice

Is protection

Until it melts

And I am ready to show the world

I am a creature

I am not a man

And I hide amongst the human race

Your Mind is your Temple

Your mind is your temple- simple as that. A beautiful temple which is simply the world of endless possibilities. Just imagine, an open road – this is your road, the road inside your temple: unrestricted, untouched and not damaged. This is where beautiful ideas are born, creativity resides and your fantastic inner-self thrives. Embrace your inner beauty and don’t be afraid to reveal it to the world.

The Alternative

Anxiety strikes

Your mind fears the worst

Your brain allerts the body

Your body goes into emergency mode

The symptoms kicks in

You give up

Panic attack takes place


Your mind fears the worst

Your brain allerts the body

Your body goes into emergency mode

The symptoms kicks in


You bravely ignore negative thoughts

You reject the mental threats

You get up and carry on with your daily schedule as planned

In the end the symptoms subside


Hormonal and Chemical Brain War

Being a woman is very interesting. We go through phases, periods and hormonal changes. Our menstrual cycle is complex. I feel like it’s even more challenging when you suffer from anxiety.

I could divide my cycle into three parts. During the first part I feel amazing. I almost forget that I suffer from anxiety. I feel good, I’m positive and I juggle daily tasks amazingly well. The second part of my cycle is still fine with a small difference, I begin to experience anxious thoughts. They hang over me and don’t want to go. I also overanalyse happenings in my life. The third part is bearable but can be daunting. It’s often combined with a state of being overwhelmed, anxious including having intrusive thoughts.

What do I do? I live and thrive. I’ve read multiple articles about ‘relaxing’ with anxiety during monthly cycle which is absolutely fine but I’m not a well paid TV reality show celebrity but an average human being who needs to get up, suck it up and go. Off course I try to eat & sleep well and exercise as much as I can ( excersicing works wonders- physical effort takes the edge off) but I also don’t change my routine. I simply ignore my symptoms doing everything which I would normally do with ONE exception- I listen to my body & mind. ‘Listening to my body & mind’ doesn’t mean to avoid running errands. My anxiety always tries hard to tell me to stay at home because the outside world is a dangerous place to be. When I actively listen to my body & mind:

* I wisely choose of what I have planned for today

* I adjust plans to my mental and physical state ( not a delusional side of anxiety)

For example, If I have planned to go to the shop and meet a friend for a cup of coffe but my anxiety has been really bad making me want to stay in the safe spot I think about my physical state first. If I feel strong enough to move around the house then I’m ready to face the big, scary and ugly world by making small steps and seeing how I feel about them. If I manage to take shower, dress and leave the house then it’s great. I can think of what should I do next… go shopping or meet a friend. I always remember if I start feeling unwell, at any point, I can return home to just relax and take it easy. I’ve had already succeeded because I’ve made an effort of not staying idle. That’s what counts.

When it comes to job, I focus on work and related tasks to it- it’s surprisingly relaxing because my mind solely circles around the subject related to my profession. I keep in mind, if don’t feel like socialising with my colleagues then I simply have a quieter but still productive day. If I mentally can’t stand being at work I go home. I’ve still succeeded ( AGAIN) because I’ve made an effort.

As you can see it’s about freedom of choice and finding the inner strength. By making small steps you still accomplish your goals without feeling pressured. You allow yourself to break the chain of anxiety and negative habits.

Don’t be afraid of talking about your anxiety and feelings related to it. It’s ok to not feel well and it’s also ok to take a break and rest.


Don’t Give Up – It comes, it goes, sometimes its worse than other times but at the end of the day you will get over it.

Samaritans – How we can Help

The talk of taking ones life has hit my senses more often than i can take. I feel for the families and friends of those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. What hurts the most is sometimes the simple question – Why? Why make those plans with me? Why leave me? Why didn’t i see this?

Truth is and it hurts the most to know that no one will ever know. People will say they were selfish for taking their own life but the reality of it is that they believed that the world was better of without them. They were not being selfish. They were hurting. They were blocked from happiness and anyone who calls it the easy way out does not understand the reality of living with a mental illness.

I once came close it being a statistic myself. I once believed that my existence had lost all meaning and value and that their was no reason for me. Even with a supportive Mother and Father, two loving sisters and pets that would stay awake with me long hours into the night i still couldn’t see it. I didn’t plan my attempt. It was spontaneous. Just a normal night on my own just craving someone to talk to. Craving for my partner at the time to acknowledge that i am me and i just need support. I felt no one outside of my house was there for me and that i was becoming too much of a burden for them.

Within a few months of that i was back to work. I begun building my life back. Becoming sociable again. Starting a new role at work and laughing again. That time was a dark time for me but it didn’t last forever. It was a phase and if you can get through the “phase” of the see-saw tipping too much then you can become stronger for it.

It is important to read information from the link above as they can help. I have copied some points from the article below for what you can do to help improve your mood step by step.

There are lots of things you can do to help yourself

  • Make time for yourself, relax and do things you enjoy – Don’t work yourself into the ground.
  • Eat healthily; get plenty of sleep and exercise – Junk food and alcohol are massive triggers for affecting your moods. A healthy body helps promote a healthy mind.
  • Spend time with people you love
  • Talk about your problems with people you trust – And ideally someone you know who will understand.
  • Be proud of what you’re good at, as well as aware of what you struggle with – Just because you struggle doesn’t mean you have failed. It means you are learning and trying and on a road to improvement.
  • Pay attention to what you’re feeling. – This can help you identify an anxiety trigger. Where you are, What you are doing and who you are with.


Don’t aim for big steps as that will only set you back. Focus on something small on move on from that. Every step forward is a big success and its okay to have the off day, we all do. But don’t lose sight of the goal. And don’t lose yourself. You don’t need to be suicidal to talk to anyone and if you see someone showing the signs you can get advice yourself. Open up before you hit a brick wall and before you know it you will understand why you feel what you feel and know that this is just like a cold. It comes, it goes, sometimes its worse than other times but at the end of the day you will get over it.