Diary of a 1st Time Anxious Mum

Breaking Back

Exactly, I have been dealing with ‘breaking back’, back pain, excruciating pain which drives me crazy. I had dealt with sciatica near the end of my pregnancy, went into labour, had an epidural (due to complications and because I just couldn’t take the pain anymore, to be exact, after 48 hours of being in labour and thriving on glorious gas & air) and I was relieved that I was pain free after giving birth to my baby girl until now…. It seems like sciatica pain has struck me again. My job is tiring- laugh out loud… I’m serious now, I dread it because I pull through the day to feel as if I’m paralysed in the evening. As I have already mentioned in my previous posts. I keep my sick days for real emergencies such as when my daughter doesn’t feel well.

We went to homeless shelter today to donate food. It was a very kind thing to do, we were showed around rooms and I must say I’m happy that places like this exists and are well supplied and fully stocked up thanks to generous donations. Living conditions there are good meaning that people who are willing to turn their lives around are offered a chance, a fresh start without worrying about the money.

Few more hours until I get to cuddle my baby girl. She suffered little anxiety today when she wasn’t happy to be held by her aunt. She simply didn’t feel comfortable to be in her aunt’s arms. She became a bit upset demanding nan nan to hold her. Her behaviour was caused by separation anxiety which is completely natural at her age. P wants to feel safe and confident with people who she knows well and has a close relationship with 🙂 How do I feel about it? I feel neutral as she is going through various stages of development and separation anxiety is a part of them.

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