My mind often wonders in the most peculiar way. I contemplate about things which have taken place and possibilities which may occur. Recently, what has surprised me the most is the fact that I don’t enjoy my mother being nice and supportive towards me or rather towards her unborn grandaughter. I should be happy about her current state of mind but I’m not. It makes me angry and furious. She hasn’t been there for me when I needed her so why would I need her now!? I’ve been left to deal with the abusive marriage and ex years ago on my own. She decided to step back and focus on my ever so adoring brother and his ex partner. She wasn’t nowhere to be found? She never really took an interest in me as in an individual. I haven’t seen her for over six years and the fact that she is coming to visit my small family fills me with mixed feelings. I’ve invited her and my father to meet their grandaughter and my fiancè. I just don’t need her word of advice and support- it’s worth nothing to me. In the end of the day, she is my mother and due to the fact that she’s always relied on my mental support I put up with her.
Another thing that has occupied my mind is bullying and mistreatment of your loved ones. It doesn’t only affect a person who is directly exposed to bad treatment. It also has an effect on their loved ones who are aware of the situation but are helpless. They are helpless because they can’t do anything to change or improve the issue. They can just offer them moral and mental support and hope for the best. It hurts when you see a person who you admire, who you love and who you are always proud of feeling down and upset. If it was up to the loved ones they would certainly do something about it but maltreatment is not always obvious to a person who’s been dealing directly with the bullies.
I often wonder what causes bullying and abusive behaviour and only two things have come into my mind. The first reason is fairly simple and consists of a bully who presents a narcissistic and sociopathic nature and takes pleasure in diminishing other people’s value. The second reason behind bullying is unhappiness combined with envy. When unhappiness meets envy mistreatment arises. The newly risen mistreatment aims to compensates for bully’s own misfortune by feeding them false sense power and self-validation. It’s a very destructive behaviour which targets good hearted people making them vulnerable. Simple as that.
Categories: Anxious Parenthood