I’m pregnant and I suffer from anxiety. I drink cranberry juice instead of gin. I do miss the mighty gin.
Two days ago I felt like my world came crushing down because I have experienced the worst anxiety and panic attack in years. It resulted for me in sobbing and weeping uncontrollably for two days. I convinced myself that my fiance would die in the car accident, that my mother would die due to the heart attack caused by long term family problems, that my father would go back to abusing alcohol and that my brother would commit suicide while being incarcerated. My head felt fuzzy, I was in a daze, it felt like something clicked in my brain and pushed me towards realms of depression. In the past, I allowed myself to slip in to deceiving arms of depression from anxiety and panic attacks periods. I know how this system works, I know how to manage my mental health, I know when and how to use coping techniques in order to not let myself suffer from depression again. It made me think though…
What if I was new to this?
What if the experience which I went through over the weekend pushed me to having a depression?
I wouldn’t know that it was a depression, I would simply deterioriate while growing a human being inside my body and struggling with all the changes that comes with it. I would feel sick and lost. I would feel demented, I would even feel suicidal. Therefore I have an appeal to make to all the pregnant ladies, partners and people in their lives:
If you feel sad, anxious, scared, lonely, defeated and afraid please talk to your doctor, family or friends.
If you feel that you’ve lost the ground under your feet please talk to your doctor, family or friends.
If you have felt down and low for a period of time and nothing makes you feel better please talk about it out loud.
We are here to listen and we don’t want you to feel that you are alone. If you feel misunderstood you have us, people who have been through shit in their life and who are not afraid to face mental health challenges.
Mental health problems are not the end of the world but the beginning of life which can be fulfilling if knowing how to manage the symptoms.
Love to you all xxx
Categories: Anxious Parenthood