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We Have to Do This Properly

I am waiting for a message

That I will never receive

You are up in the clouds

Whilst I am left behind

I am forgotten

I am lost

I am told so many things

About how you suffer day to day

Yet no one speaks of the suffering you push on others

The lies

The hypocrisy

How we are worn over time with no maintenance

Oh, I need help

I am here

Now I will bleed you dry

Oh, I need money

Here you go

Now I will bleed you dry

Oh, I did this

That is wonderful

Now I will bleed you dry

I am so sensitive

I am sorry

Now I will bleed you dry

I am waiting for a message

That I will never receive

The dial tone bleeps

The monotonous ring feeds the air

You have reached voicemail

Please leave a message after the beep

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Sweet Talking

I SEE
OH I SEE
THAT LOOK IN YOUR EYE
OH WHAT A LOOK
THE ANGER I SEE
COULD MAKE FLESH COOK
BUT WHAT I HEAR
OH DEAR
WHAT I HEAR
YOU KEEP SWEET TALKING ME
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING COMING
THOSE SUGAR WORDS TASTE FOUL
AND I KNOW
THE PAST YOU TOOK
THE PRESENT YOU LOOK
AND THE FUTURE WON’T BE THE SAME
YOU KEEP SWEET TALKING ME
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING
KEEP THAT SWEET TALKING COMING
THOSE SUGARY VOWELS HOWL
THE PAST YOU TOOK
THE PRESENT YOU LOOK
AND THE FUTURE WON’T BE THE SAME

Maternity Leave Ends

Going back to work after maternity leave fills me with dread and sorrow.  I’m not looking forward to being away from my daughter missing out on her developmental milestones during the day. I know she will be in good hands looked after by nan, myself and my partner but I’m her mother. I feel that it’s my responsibility to be there for my baby 24/7 no matter how monotonous it feels. If I could I would surely take more time off but I’m not able to. People say that it’s nice to have some time only to yourself, be able to drink a hot cup of tea/ coffee and chat to adults but it doesn’t sound appealing to me.  Unfortunately, I’m not elated by the prospect of willingly leaving my baby and running to work with open arms. I might change the way I feel about return to work after maternity leave but now I don’t see anything positive in it.

Life is a journey; I appreciate every experience which has been presented to me. I treat unpleasant life occurrences as challenges. I think that going back to work after maternity leave is a challenge and we all shall see how it turns out to be.

Also, I personally believe that being stay at home parent is more challenging than working full time. Why? Because when you are at home with your offspring you look after them literally making sure they stay alive. You do the housework, run various errands and you do it ALL for FREE. Nobody pays you for raising children or looking after your family. Being at work is not a piece of cake either BUT you get paid and you focus solely on yourself and your career without keeping underage beings safe or alive (unless you work in Early Years).

I don’t condemn parents who return to work early. It’s their call, their life and their children are still loved & happy.  Everyone is different and I just happen to have a slightly different point of view. I have waited years to become a mother and I cherish every moment of it.

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PARENTHOOD

What was your life like before having children?

Many people would describe it as existence blossoming with freedom, blessed with blissful nights, financial liberation and self- centred approach.

I would say-  unappreciated HEAVEN.

What is your life like now?

My life appears as emotional mayhem filled with love & various responsibilities which I would not trade for anything else in the world. It’s a self- discovery journey often flooded with tears and laughter. I’m not perfect by any means, half of the time I may appear confident knowing what I’m doing but in my oh so caring, bum pinching reality I poop my pants with fear of not doing the right thing. I’m sure I’m not the only being on this planet who feels this way so CHEERS to PARENTHOOD and its PERKS.

 

 

 

Dead Inside

I have

No reason to explain the illogical path I am walking

Drawing water from a well, turning on a tap

These all bring the same results

Walking from A to B can take hours or days

Though road is littered at the sides

Travelling through a seamlessly clear path

Unaware of the waste we pass

 

Drawing water from a well

Draws more breathes

Than when I turn on a tap

One place will make me ache

Another will push me to intoxicate

Each will make me sleep

Each will

Wake me up blind

And go to sleep awake

The day passes by

My thoughts

Dwelling on my mistakes

Personal Growth

Personal growth doesn’t happen overnight, it’s a slow and immaculate process. It takes strength, determination and perseverance to become happy with yourself.

Are you happy with yourself as a person? Do you struggle with self-worth? What do you work on at the moment?

Let me know in the comments below!

Love & Peace x

The Modern World

Simple and non materialistic things are what matters the most in this life. They enrich your life in many wonderful ways. They say- ‘Love and live because you are truly blessed’ BUT when you lack financial means all of the sudden you and your family’s mental and physical wellbeing is at risk.

There are so many loving and good hearted families with no money. Love for eachother is the only thing which keeps them from giving up. Parents put on a brave face often skipping a meal in order to feed their children. They work hard, they are honest, worried and anxious about tommorow yet they manage to smile for the sake of their children.

They say-‘Live in the present moment.’ Well, that’s a great approach but when you have children you must plan ahead otherwise your children may suffer and you don’t want that to happen. I wish life was easier. It’s sad and you can only understand it when you are a parent yourself.

Why oh why the modern world is so unfair?

Mental Health Awareness

Anxiety

Depression

Social anxiety

Hypochondria

Bipolar disorder

Schizophrenia

OCD

Postanat Depression

PTSD

ANOREXIA

BULIMIA

Many

Many

More

You name it

If you have ever suffered from a mental health disorder you know what it feels like to have a constant battle with your mind.

Look after yourself, have a mental health issue under control, live your life by enjoying it and BE PROUD.

BE PROUD of who you are because you are the warrior!

The warrior who haven’t given up and who has been able to embrace this part of their life living it to the fullest.

Spread the awareness of mental health to those who still follow deeply embedded in the society stereotypes.

– Vulnerable

– Hypersensitive

– Unreliable

– Weird

These stereotypes are false because they deem people who suffer from mental health issues incapable of functioning in the modern world.

Together we can abolish these assumptions by talking about mental health openely.

Don’t be ignorant when you hear someone commenting on another person’s mental health problem. Challenge them and invite them to an open discussion. Prove them wrong.

Don’t be idle.

It will take time but we believe the mental healtj stigma will not last forever.